Many Women Need Work for Satisfaction

Women: For many women, stopping employment is not a reasonable answer for the years of motherhood.

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Joan Peters in her book Loving Our Children Without Sacrificing Ourselves writes, "You owe it to yourself and your children to work."

Peters opines this generation of women has been prepared to enter the workforce and have actually done so in record numbers. But all too often the woman, the man she shares parenthood with and even segments of society itself believe in this selfless, all encompassing role of motherhood. Such an image leaves women bearing most of the responsibility for child rearing. It also leaves them guilt written and filled with fear.

Overwhelmed with guilt, some women quit work entirely, a solution that Peters writes can leave women economically vulnerable, depressed, and stripped of identity.

Peters continues, "The choice should not be whether to work or stay home."

She feels women should negotiate with their partners to equally share the responsibilities of parenting.

Peters reiterates that mothers need to let some of the responsibility go to fathers and respect that men have equal say in parenting decision.

She writes to women, "You owe it to yourself and your children to work. With the divorce rate at 50 percent, you have a financial responsibility to do that. Besides, the more we let go, the more we end up with our own identities and we enjoy our children more."

Peters says recent research shows mothers exhibited more tenderness when they shared nurturing with others and that children benefited from having a wide circle of support.

She also points out that she is not advocating working long hours and ignoring children. She is advocating balancing work and family.

Women may have to make some material and/or career sacrifices in order to spend more time with their children. In fact, for many mothers the greatest luxury is time.

Some women have found that their career identities conflicted with other parts of their lives, including motherhood. That conflict leaves them divided.

Elizabeth McKenna in her book When Work Doesn't Work Anymore, Work and Identity, opines that the workplace was created to accommodate those men who identify themselves through their work. This career identity and the conflicts it causes with home and children, has caused enough pressure on some women to cause them to leave the workplace.

However, being able to generate some income is critical for self-approval, growth, security, and development. Monetary rewards and interesting careers are definitely confidence builders for women.

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Note: The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of CyberParent. They are not intended to take the place of advice of a health or other professional whose advice you might need to seek.

For Women Only Directory	Letters from Women	Marriage and Women: Directory of Series:
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Loneliness	Women Need to Work	What's In Marriage for Women?
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I Should But I Can't	Questions for Brides	Early History of Marriage
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Men and Women Talk	Men and Sex in Today's Society.	Crossroads for Marriage
Book Reviews	Men Use Sex to Connect.	Prince Who?
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Your Attitudes and Behaviors	Lust and Getting Lucky
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