Women: We interpret courtship behaviors as promises from our future partners. These become silent contracts we make with each other before marriage. |
Family Site Since
1997 |
Women: We interpret courtship behaviors as promises from our future partners. These become silent contracts we make with each other before marriage. |
Family Site Since
1997 |
| Women and Issues of a Woman |
|
Women
as
Wives
and Silent Contracts |
|
By Pat McChristie |
Women: Although a man and woman often have a period of courting that is a time of great deception, courtship behaviors become silent contracts we make with each other before marriage. More information about women and issues of a woman:
|
We interpret courtship behaviors as promises from our future partners. These become silent contracts we make with each other before marriage. We then expect those contracts to remain the same after marriage. We believe even daily behaviors should change only when necessary and agreed upon in advance. Yet our period of courting has been a time of great deception. We exaggerated our virtues and strong points. We understated or sometimes even concealed many of our faults and weak points. We took an interest in activities and subjects that had never been interesting before just to please our partners. Men do it and women do it. Why? We were convincing someone to share our lives. We wanted their respect, trust, love, and affection. In short, we were selling ourselves. And our partner was doing the same. During this time we made complex and unconscious contracts with our soon-to-be mates. These "contracts" were rarely discussed and many will eventually be "broken." Because partners feel angry when these unconscious agreements are broken, courtship assumptions should be laid on the table and discussed. Some psychologists suggest we make a list of values and behaviors. The engaged couple should (separately and without discussion) write his or her opinion of how the couple has agreed to handle each issue. Gut up and tackle these issues:
When the two lists are compared, the differences can be discussed and resolved before unconscious contracts sabotage the future of your marriage. And before you have to repeat the lament of many generations before you, "I will never understand this man I married!" |
|
Back
to Women's Web Index
CyberParent Home
| For Women Only Directory | Letters from Women | Marriage and Women: Directory of Series: |
| Magic Pill | Work vs. Home Work | Why Are Women Leaving Marriage in Droves? |
| Loneliness | Women Need to Work | What's In Marriage for Women? |
| Happy Face | Women and Abuse | Why Is Marriage Unhappy for So Many Women? |
| I Should But I Can't | Questions for Brides | Early History of Marriage |
| Scents and Fragrances | Silent Contracts | 19th Century Marriage |
| Sleep | Directory
of Series: Men & Sex for women. |
The 1950s Hangover! |
| Men and Women Talk | Men and Sex in Today's Society. | Crossroads for Marriage |
| Book Reviews | Men Use Sex to Connect. | Prince Who? |
| Martyrs and Mothers | Men Relate Through Sex. | Happy Wives Make Happy Husbands! |
| Are You Depressed? | Men & Sexual Rejections by Women | Random Thoughts on Marriage |
| Setting Limits in Relationships. | Male Sexual Attitudes, Fantasies, Masturbation. | |
| Your Attitudes and Behaviors | Lust and Getting Lucky | |
| Test Those Nagging Doubts About Your Relationship |
Green Building and Remodeling
Contact
Copyright © 1997-2010 CyberParent. All rights reserved.
Note: The opinions expressed
herein are exclusively those of the writers or other participants and do not necessarily reflect the
position of CyberParent. They are not intended to take the place of advice of a
health, legal, or other professional whose expertise you might need to seek.
