Women write CyberParent. Questions, letters, venting and pleas for help from CyberParent readers.

Note: The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of CyberParent. They are not intended to take the place of advice of a health professional whose advice you might need to seek.

Letters from Surfers

Questions, letters, venting and pleas for help from CyberParent readers. 

I would be very grateful for some advice. I have been divorced for 16 years and have been responsible for my three sons. I had to struggle to get child support, etc. etc., but now my sons are 29 yrs. 27 yrs. & 24 yrs. My ex-husband was extremely irresponsible in many ways but worst of all was his financial irresponsibility. He never felt that he should have to pay bills and worse yet would lie when people would call and ask for a payment. The usual line would be 'oh yes, I mailed a check today', and would lie to me also. It nearly drove me crazy and I finally asked for a divorce as there were many other issues.

Anyway, my oldest and youngest son have done very well and are extremely responsible. My middle son is quite the opposite and I feel that I am living with my ex-husband again. He chose not to go to college and somehow feels that it is okay just to move in here when things get rough. I am happy to help my sons, but Christopher feels that when he moves in here that it is my job to do ALL the work and does the 'old' twist the guilt trick. Quite honestly I have a long history with this son and he has caused the family a GREAT deal of stress. He is presently living here and it is the same old same old.

He is completely irresponsible financially. I am at the end of my rope and need some advice as it is affecting my health and I am walking around angry. The Christopher saga goes way back and I can go into detail if you can help or advise where or who I should talk to. I am basically enabling him and he is taking complete advantage of it and when I try to discuss this with him he gets very angry. I consider this mental abuse. I feel like selling my townhouse and moving into a one bedroom basement apt. My other sons are very upset and have tried to intervene but they have their own lives and live in Northern Virginia.

Thank you so much,
ejbs

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Note: The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of CyberParent. They are not intended to take the place of advice of a health or other professional whose advice you might need to seek.