How do you handle the times when one parent has long-term visitation, such as summer, while the other spouse's children are coming for the week-end only? What would be the proper stepparenting procedures here? |
If you are both non-custody parents, and each have week-end visitation rights, make certain to plan a few empty times so you can have time for each other on a week-end. Hopefully, one custody parent or the other will be willing to change week-ends occasionally to allow this to happen. There is another potentially poor situation. Your spouse's children are spending the summer with you. Your children come for visitation. Be careful about the following situations:
Here are some suggestions to handle the above situations: 1. Make certain you and your spouse continue ongoing discussions and compromises and that you are both involved. 2. Your children should be encouraged to express their reservations about the new situation(s). Put yourself in their shoes and empathize with them. Make an effort to talk and behave like everything is the same. 3. Make certain your children do not feel like guests, but members of another caring group when they are at your new home. 4. Make certain your children realize that your new spouse will never take the place of their other parent and that your children will never have to choose between two families. 5. Give your children a permanent drawer and spot in the house. If they have to share a bedroom with stepsiblings, see that they have a bunk or trundle bed that is their own. Keep a place at the dinner table for them and make certain they have a place on the family arts and craft wall, family picture wall, etc. 6. Include your kids in the family chores, pow-wows, decisions, and plans. Keep in touch while they are away so they will know what is happening at your house. But don't make them jealous or use them to let your ex know how good it is going for you now. |
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