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State the amount of time he must stay there while reminding him that if he is
not calm at the end of the time-out, the time will be extended until he is calm.
You say, calmly, "Chris, go to your room. You must stay there until you
have been calm for nine minutes. If you calm down now, you will be out in nine
minutes."
Important: Remember to offer him an alternate acceptable
behavior that he can use the next time he's in the same situation.
What is an acceptable behavior in your family: telling you, asking his sister
to stop, laughing at his sister?
Tracking Time
Place a portable kitchen timer, preferably a loudly ticking timer that rings at
the end of the specified time, near your child for a tracking device.
This helps you be fair and consistent and will keep you from giving in early.
Better yet, it will stop persistent questions such as, "Is the time up
yet?"
If your child leaves the timeout location, escort her back and reset the timer
back to the beginning. Do this every time she leaves her time-out location early.
Important: One minute of timeout per year of age.
Tips:
- Be prepared to firmly hold an escaping child in place.
- Be consistent and persistent.
- Don't show your anger.
- Pretend you can't hear any of the things your child says about you during the
time-out.
She/he will eventually learn the only way to get out of time-out is to remain
there until the penalty time is up.
Always cheerfully welcome your child back when the time-out is over. Don't
lecture, don't even bring it up. A hug is the most acceptable behavior for you now.
More Tips:
- Your child needs to know in advance what time-out is and how it works. Explain
the timeout and reiterate that is will be used every time he/she behaves in a certain way.
- Tell her where and how long she will stay in time-out.
If every negative behavior is punished by time-out, you child may spend his
entire day there. In fact, if you are just beginning to use timeout with an older or
out-of-control child, he/she may spend the first day or two in time-out locations anyway.
By the third day, it will be less.
Rule of Three
1. Choose no more than three negative behaviors to punish by time-outs.
2. Consistently use this penalty every time these behaviors happen.
3. Don't delay timeouts.
If for some reason you can not enforce timeout immediately--you are in line at
the post office holding six packages and a baby--don't bring it up. If a long period of
time elapses, it doesn't work.
It won't take your child long to realize that he/she can get away with negative
behavior in certain situations.
Back to Time-out Directory.
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