Another advantage of the 1-2-3 time-out method of discipline is that grandparents, other relatives, and caregivers can use this system. too. This gives a consistent message from everyone. Consistency is always the most important part of any discipline, of course. |
Questions, anyone? Why such a short time as one minute per year of life? How long do you wait between counts? |
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Phelan further suggests that you never leave home for a long trip with the kids without discipline plans. He writes, "Have the 1-2-3 and a few other tactics in your hip pocket, because you're going to need them." |
What if my child won't go to her room? Phelan suggests that you carry her to her room as long as you are larger. Most uncooperative children will stay a step or two ahead of you once they realize you are serious. The larger child can have a choice of a rest period or some deprivation such as a monetary fine or lost TV time. If that doesn't work, remove yourself from the child so arguments don't ensue. A well-stocked bathroom means you can lock yourself away from the arguments of your twelve year old for twelve minutes. Ahhh, peace! What
if the child won't stay in his room? |
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What if she destroys the room? Leave it alone. If it is cleaned up, by you or your child, she can destroy it again at the next time-out. Let her dig for school books, pajamas, and other items until she has at least three peaceful time-outs. Then help her clean up. If she trashes the room again, leave it alone again until she repeats three calm time-outs. Remember: remove dangerous or valuable items before the first time-out with a potential room wrecker. What
if you are on the phone or have other people over? What if you are in public?
What if you are driving? Try having them earn their spending money or treats for a long trip or vacation by completing certain periods of no time-outs. For example, if all children can go a certain time period, say, fifteen minutes, with no time-outs, they all get an amount of money or a particular treat on the trip. The secret is they all earn it or no one earns it. This stops, "But he pinched me," or "She started it." Phelan further suggests that you never leave home for a long trip with the kids without discipline plans. He writes, "Have the 1-2-3 and a few other tactics in your hip pocket, because you're going to need them." Another advantage of the 1-2-3 time-out method is that grandparents, other relatives, and caregivers can use this system. too. This gives a consistent message from everyone. Consistency is always the most important part of any discipline, of course. |
