Love & Chemistry in
Reading: What Is It?
Love Letters are an expression of feelings for another person which contain your most inner feelings. It may be a forum to move your love fo the next level of intimacy. When you decide the time is right to express your feelings, here are many creative ideas.
Wedding customs grew from necessities rather than from love and romance.
Best Men and Honeymoons
The original purpose of a best man was to help the groom capture the woman he desired as a bride. The wedding party also provided assistance to the groom in the capture of the bride. They also made certain the bride was present at the wedding and did not escape before the honeymoon.
Only the modern honeymoon has been a time of sensual romance. The original purpose of the honeymoon was to keep the captive wife hidden until the groom could get her pregnant. That way, the bride's family would not even want her back.
Some superstitions bring luck or happiness to the bride such as:
But the bride who loses her wedding ring may have bad luck. Superstition has it that she will be unhappy, and this is probably true, particularly when the groom finds out.
Rings or circles have always symbolized eternity and eternal love. The Romans believed that a small artery, <197>the vein of love, <197>ran from the third finger to the heart. From this belief came the custom of wearing the wedding ring on the third finger of the left hand.
The Italians believed diamonds were created from the flames of love. They started the custom of giving diamond rings in medieval times.
The wedding cake had a messy origin. Ancient Romans broke a barley cake over the bride's head as a symbol of her fertility.
A wedding was once the purchase of a woman by the groom and his family for breeding purposes. Since the bride's ability to produce heirs was unknown, the groom's family was gambling on her reproduction capabilities. So a wedding was actually a time of risk for the groom and his family.
White for the bride's dress became fashionable when Anne of Britanny married Louis XII of France in 1499. Although white became known as a symbol of virginity in the bride, this representation was diminished by the sexual revolution of the 60s.
In biblical times, blue was the symbol of purity. Both the bride and the groom wore a blue band around the bottom of their wedding clothes. That is the origin of <169>something blue<170> for the bride.
June as a month to wed began in the Roman days. The festival of the dead was held in May so it was considered a bad month to marry. Also, seeds were sown in June which became a good month to wed, especially for the groom who wanted to sow a few seeds himself.
By Richard Sides
You have heard it said that relationships die because the people never communicate. Perhaps it happens that way, but I would suggest that it is far more likely that the communication stopped because the relationship was "still born."
Let me explain. Relationships either grow, or they become stagnant and die.
It isn't enough for the people to grow, they need to grow together. If they grow apart, it ceases to be a relationship. Much like the wires on a Bonsai, communication and mutual interests shape that growth, making it possible for them to grow together.
Let's face it, not everyone finds the same things interesting or exciting. Communication is sharing. Who wants to share with someone who is only listening out of courtesy, who doesn't really have the same passion for your news?
If we chose our partner carelessly, his/her interests are sufficiently different to make it impossible to share our excitement. So you share with people who are "really" interested. So do they.
Lacking mutual interests, communication falters, and that bond that would have kept you growing together fails. You either stop growing (get stagnant) or grow apart, because growing together is not really an option anymore.
Without those common interests the relationship was dead before it started.
If you want to be with someone for "the long haul," don't try to force someone with different interests to communicate and grow with you ... select someone with similar interests so that you will both want to communicate and grow together. It's easier to select the right person than it is to manipulate the wrong one!
Good advice if you are single or single again. What if you are already married to someone whose interests you don't share?
How about a compromise. You participate in one of mine; I will participate in one of yours. And no sulking around and staring into space when it's not your turn.
It might work. At least one of you might develop an interest in the other person's hobby. That is the first step to growing a more satisfying relationship.
Your Ideal Mate/Lover
By Pat McChristie
Imagine that you are hanging-out with someone who always understands what you mean without any need for you to explain. It is almost as if this special person can read your mind.
It's uncanny. This agreeable person wants exactly what you want at exactly the same time you want it.
Since this person continually has your best interests at heart, you obviously never have a conflict with this person.
Where do you find such a person?
It's easy--<197>that person is you and you alone!
As soon as you enter a relationship, conflicts arise. Therefore, the only way to avoid conflict is to stay single.
Test Your Relationship.
By Pat McChristie
Give your mate/lover a few tests to confirm or deny those nagging doubts:
Try these three tests to check out your questions.
Stop and think. Do I know everything about his/her day while he/she knows next to nothing about mine?
Do I know everything about his/her childhood, ambitions, career, etc., while he/she knows or remembers very little about mine?
An affirmative answer might indicate selfishness. It certainly indicates a lack of interest which might be based in selfishness.
Try stating opinions or thoughts on various subjects. If he/she tries to change the way you are thinking, there is a possibility this person is a controller.
Ask him/her to do two or three things that are really important to you. If there is a genuine effort to comply, that indicates love.
Although these are not meant to be conclusive tests, of course, they do indicate the direction of your relationship with a person.
Treat 'em good
If your mate/lover ever says, "Listen, you treat your friends better than you do me," you need to wake up.
You need to take a good look at your relationship.
If you need proof, make a list of all the things you do for your friends in a month...
Then make a list of all the considerate things you do for your partner in the same period of time.
Which list is longer?
It should always be your mate/lover's list!
Green Building and Remodeling
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