Answer 1:

As a father who is as involved as possible with my children who live in another state, I would say, "No way." It is a real problem for fathers who can not interact on a daily basis but I am her only dad. I think my ex would handle it better than this. And somehow, I don't think she would like Kelly calling another woman "mommy."
JVH

Answer 2:

In response to the wife of the little girl who wants to call her mom's second husband daddy....

As a single Dad who has to deal with all the lousy issues of divorce and lost time with my daughter, I feel very strongly on this issue.

My daughter has one, and only one father, and that is me. Whether my EX has hundreds of other husbands it her lifetime, they are not this child's father.

When it comes to custody, men are almost always on the short end of the stick. I was lucky in that I was granted 3 days a week for having my daughter. I don't feel that lucky because I want to have her 7 days a week-but that's water under the bridge.

Unfortunately for single Dads, our children often spend more time with the Ex's hubby than with us. This is bad enough. Our role as father is under stress. Is it really unreasonable to think it would greatly upset us men to have our children calling someone else Daddy?

My daughter has been very receptive to women I've met and looked at as possible relationships. I hope and expect that my daughter will care for and maybe even grow to love whatever woman eventually becomes part of my life. But regardless of how much my Jessica may care for my new spouse, she already has a mother - Mom, and I would never question or threaten that title.

It is healthy for children to respect, care for and even grow to love step-parents. However, as long as both parents are alive and active in their children's lives, there is only ONE Mom and ONE Dad.

I find it incredibly insensitive of this woman to not understand her Ex's feelings. There is enough loss in divorce already. Do we also have to loose the one title that is the most important to us?
LO

Answer 3:

In response to the question of whether or not a child should call the new husband "Daddy", I, as an absent parent to my own, and a step-dad to one,can say with experience, "Men, get over your selfishness and put your child first."

If you are an active father, (regular visits, regular phone calls, helping with homework over phone, regular letter writing, memory maker, not bound by having an attitude, over your anger, able to keep all your promises, etc.) then you will always be daddy. But if the Child needs to call the man of the house Daddy, then it is probably out of a natural, and innocent, need.

But remember, these kids can be made to feel blessed. Tell them that they don't have a new daddy, but now they have TWO DADDIES! And quit putting your ego ahead of their emotional needs. Be a Dad, and you'll never lose that place in their hearts. But let them bond with the man that is responsible for raising them. Do it for them, don't damage their soul just so you can claim a place in their hearts. That you have to earn. After all, it's just a name.

Gary D

Answer 4

My Wife and I went separate ways nine years ago. Our son was three at the time. He is now twelve and is doing very well. He spends half his time with his Mother and StepFather, and half his time with his Father and StepMother. You see, he says he has two families, two dads and two moms. He says he is twice as lucky as his friends.

I think in all the pain we parents experience during separation and divorce, we tend to forget how our kids feel. My son was devastated, felt it was his fault somehow. He didn't understand why Mommy and  Daddy lived in two separate places.

It took time and a lot of caring and understanding, but he began to come to terms with it. Began to see it was not him. One of the things that helped him was when he discovered he had two moms and two dads, twice as much love as other people had.

So today, he is the lucky one. A Dad and a Mom are always there. He loves all four, and all four love him.

My son feels happy, healthy and loved. If the choice is between this and what I see other children going through (including my stepson whose father would have a fit if he knew his son called me Dad),    I'll chose to swallow my pride a little and let my son have two Dads.

L.B.
San Jose, California