Abuse never gets better without counseling for the abuser and the abused. Abuse is a pattern that must be broken or destroy lives. Money is just a way of controlling the abused by the abusing party. Abusers learn the abused's fears and then use them.

Dr. Luv
The Relationship Coach

My Daughter is Abused. How Can I Help Her?

Dear Dr. Luv,

My daughter went back to her husband in the middle of their divorce. He was verbally abusive and sometimes "push" happy.   $2000 later there she was with the "father " of her baby,  who was previously allowed only restricted visitation, now back together, as one happy family.

She now has 2 children, 17 months apart.

The stuff never ends, and she says
she is leaving, but is afraid because she has no $$$. They are in debt up to their necks. He buys stuff all the time, keeps the checkbook, and now she wants out.

Being her mom, and watching this, I know she has to be the one to do it. Any suggestions for me on what to say to her???

Thank you.
Concerned Mom

This column is for educational and entertainment purposes. The advice given is merely my thoughts. Professional advice should be sought before
any decisions are made.

Email your letters to: luv@cyberparent.com

or snail mail to
Dr. Luv
P.O. Box 610314
D/FW Airport, TX 75261



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Reply from Dr. Luv

Dear Concerned Mom,

Abuse never gets better without counseling for the abuser and the abused. It is a pattern that must be broken or it will destroy many  lives.

Not only is she at risk, so are the children, and they have no say.

Money is just a way of controlling her. He knows her fears and will use them; the debt is part of that control he uses.

In most states now he will have no choice but to pay at least child support. Many states will take it out of his pay check before he is paid in order to assure that child support  is paid.

All you can do is support her choices right now and not condemn her or make her feel worse.

Check around and get information on abuse. See if there are any classes, then give the information  to her. She has to take the steps or she will see her children suffer the effect at a later date.

She will need counseling and or a support group to get through this, no matter what she does. So may you.

Good luck in whatever you do.

Dr. Luv

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