Abuse never gets better without counseling for the abuser and the abused. Abuse is a pattern that must be broken or destroy lives. Money is just a way of controlling the abused by the abusing party. Abusers learn the abused's fears and then use them. |
Dr. Luv |
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| Letter My Daughter is Abused. How Can I Help Her? Dear Dr. Luv, My daughter went back to her husband in the middle of their divorce. He was verbally abusive and sometimes "push" happy. $2000 later there she was with the "father " of her baby, who was previously allowed only restricted visitation, now back together, as one happy family. She now has 2 children, 17 months apart. The stuff never ends, and she says Being her mom, and watching this, I know she has to be the one to do it. Any suggestions for me on what to say to her??? Thank you. This column is for educational and
entertainment purposes. The advice given is merely my thoughts. Professional advice should
be sought before or snail mail to
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Reply from Dr. Luv Dear Concerned Mom, Not only is she at risk, so are the children, and they have no say. Money is just a way of controlling her. He knows her fears and will use them; the debt is part of that control he uses. In most states now he will have no choice but to pay at least child support. Many states will take it out of his pay check before he is paid in order to assure that child support is paid. All you can do is support her choices right now and not condemn her or make her feel worse. Check around and get information on abuse. See if there are any classes, then give the information to her. She has to take the steps or she will see her children suffer the effect at a later date. She will need counseling and or a support group to get through
this, no matter what she does. So may you. |
