Friendship:To have friends you need contact with other people. People equal friends. Shy people sometimes avoid friends by avoiding people; friends equal risk.
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Remember, friendships do not happen in a vacuum. There is a certain chemistry with friends just as in a love relationship. Therefore, contact with other people is the first building block of friendship. The transition from stranger to acquaintance to friend begins with attention--one of you attracts the other, or it's a mutual attraction. This happens when you share an experience. And you can not share an experience until you get out in the world with people. People equal friends and friends equal people. Some people have more trouble getting out there than others. Who does have trouble getting out in the world to make friends? Shy people or people who are true loners often seek safety by staying away from people. If they don't even work with many people, they will have a hard time sharing experiences with someone who is attractive to them and vice-versa. Elderly people or people who do not drive also have trouble getting out in most of the American world. Other people are isolated by physical disabilities, by geography, by abusive relationships, etc. New mothers are often too tired or just too busy to keep up an active and satisfying social life. Yet studies have shown new mothers are happier and more assured when they are able to meet with adults regularly, particularly other mothers. Once you have captured the attention of another person or vice-versa, you must expand on that original attraction. This expansion includes additional contacts and conversation. Who's on first? Someone must be on first for a friendship to develop. Certainly there is risk inherent in forming a friendship. The truth is that you can never be totally certain of your friend's response. Eventually one person must take the risk of confiding in order for a friendship to grow in intimacy. Making friends is risky. Grow a Friend! Friends meet, friends attract, friends interact, and friends confide in friends. Friends equal people. Friends equal risk. |
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